You know you are at C.o.W. when…

by Yussi Pick

You sneak food out of Lowry or Kittredge on a regular basis.

You have almost been hit by many a car crossing Beall Avenue.

You know that Beall is pronounced like “Bell,” and Bever is pronounced like “Beaver.”

You laugh when people mispronounce “Kauke.”

You often engage in arguments on whether it is “beer pong” or “beirut.”

You’ll wait in line for a half hour to have soup and bread at Kittredge.

You have a rape whistle.

You are accustomed to seeing Amish people at Wal-Mart.

You dump (or have dumped) your trash out in the bathroom’s trashcan (and been yelled at for it).

You’ve gone to the Java Hut to save time in the morning, only to end up waiting in line for a half hour.

You’ve gone to the wellness center for cold medicine.

You never flinch when you hear a siren outside, because you hear them everyday (for some reason).

You know the squirrels are crazy and/or retarded.

You’re involved with at least one extracurricular activity.

When it’s hot out, you go to the library to study because of the air conditioning.

You have a soft spot in your heart for cows, plaid, and bagpipes.

You’ve played board games and/or video games at Common Grounds.

You know that The Pot has nothing to do with either food or drugs.

You have referred to (or heard other people referring to) Bornheutter and Babcock as “Hooters” and “The Cock.”

You’ve played ultimate Frisbee.

You have Scottish pride, even though you’re not from Scotland.

You can tell by the length of the line, what lowry got for dinner.

You have the urge to party on wednesday for no good reason (exept that your college shares the first letter with the day)

You look forward to get a Tootsie Roll.

You know the German word for vagina, because your Music Center is named after it.